The end of all flesh is come
Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven...
...and every thing that is in the earth shall die.
For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights...
...and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.
...And it came to pass that even the garbage cans got knocked down, look at this shit
I mean, look at this shit
I AM DONE WITH THE RAIN
LET'S DO SOMETHING ELSE NOW
10 comments:
Oh man, Julie. Oh man.
That is both awesome and not at the same time.
ALSO your biblical style is most excellent.
WHY IS THERE A GIANT TRASH RECEPTICLE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR STREET?
WHY GOD? WHY?
WHY IS THERE A GIANT TRASH RECEPTICLE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR STREET?
WHY GOD? WHY?
And people say Oregon weather is bad... sheesh.
-Ryan
It is there because of the rain, Ryan - to help collect some of it and have it not flood the street. Obviously it worked like a charm or I wouldn't even be here.
I would like to add that a closer inspection, which reveals that the dumpster lids are in fact closed, only serves to add substance and might to my previous claim.
Dear California:
We in the midwest wish to apologize for your inconvienience. We let our shitty weather slip away and it's gone and -ahem - rained on your parade. for this we are truly sorry. But if you want to send us some of your nice balmy days sometime, maybe we can make sure this never happens again, capische?
sincerely,
the fucking cold ass middle of the country.
~Rolando Venezula
Listen, "Rolando" — if that is your real name — I'll mail you some sun when you mail me some snow.
...I don't want it all though - just about a week of it will be fine.
...And, I don't want it in my driveway or anything - a localized area such as a park will be fine.
...Clean snow, no slush or ice. (Unless the ice is in the form of picturesque icicles.)
It's settled, then.
ok, sounds like a deal.
Unfortunately all our current snow got contaminated by freezing rain and is in no condition to travel.
Unless you want ice. Does ice count?
~Phillip Pullyup
Only if it's pretty, and poses absolutely no inconvenience.
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