Friday, September 23, 2005


One thing I was never sure if anyone else but me noticed was that once you opened a box of Cheez-Its, you had to contend with actually getting the plastic bag inside open. For some reason, the Cheez-Its people believed that they needed to make this bag hard as fuck to open. You know how most normal snack-food bags have that little flap you can grab onto and sort of pull the top of the bag apart very smoothly and easily? Cheez-Its bags were like that superficially, but when you went to open them, you discovered that they had been sealed with some sort of nanoscale molecular adhesive that turned opening them into at least a three-tug ordeal that partially deformed the top of the bag with all the pulling.

Well, that's changed now. I just opened my first box of Cheez-Its in a while, and I am pleased to report that they've now officially caught up with the year 1998 and made the bag easier to open. Thank you, Cheez-Its people. Thank you.

Now we will do our best to forget the intestinal horrorbomb you dropped on us howevermany years ago with those "White Cheddar Jack" Cheez-Its or whatever they were.