YOU CAN'T HANDLE MY KNIFE STYLE

I never knew this before, but I apparently cut my apples in a way that not many people are familiar with. When I bring them an apple, or when I eat an apple in front of them that I've prepared, they look at me as though I am the bringer of some kind of technology from the future. I'm not sure what's going on in everyone else's house. Look, I don't mean to cast aspersions on yo mama, but let's just say I am not the one to blame if you ain't know what I'm talkin' bout when I cut my apples, son.

I recognize that I have made an extremely crude diagram. I know this. I don't have a tablet or anything, all right. I roll mouse-style. You will just have to deal.