NOT AT ALL, REALLY

No, actually, I'm not looking forward to the Transformers sequel. The first one was terrible, possibly the worst movie to come out this decade. Rather than go through all the reasons why it was awful, I'll give you just one, and ask an earnest question.

Why does anyone go see a movie about Transformers? Maybe to see robots fight each other? Why, then, were these robots so fucking complicated-looking? Put two of them next to each other and it's just a visual tangle. Adding motion makes it immeasurably worse. I didn't see fighting; I saw whirling clouds of blurred metal while hearing disconnected clanking noises. This was not awesome. It was, in fact, the diametric opposite of awesome. Joy died the day that movie came out, and now it's going to die again.

I ask you: who is to blame for this bullshit? The director, or the art guy? (I assume that the person who designed the robots wasn't Michael Bay) Why did nobody stop them? Is it possible we somehow failed ourselves.