Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Not A Dentist

The other day I flossed with sewing thread. It was great, I plan to do it more often.

It wasn't a deliberate decision at first, just happenstance; I wanted to floss, I was at work, and I didn't have any dental floss. I did, however, have sewing thread.

Slip-Sliding Away
Dental floss — even the unwaxed kind — is composed of very long, smooth, mono-directional fibers. I've always felt that it just slides around, without any removal services to speak of. The sewing thread, however, having a rough and unburnished surface with many microscopic fibers every which way, is more like a scrubby sponge. It gathered up all the nasty crap, and hauled it away for free.

Simply rinse with Diet 7•Up, and you're done.

The Caveat
Use care when you get to your molars, or the thread will lodge and snap in between two of them, forcing you to either:

1) Swallow your pride and phone in some regular dental floss to get the job done right (akin to bringing the car you tried to fix to your mechanic)

2) Redouble your efforts, and the thread.

Only if I'd dipped the sewing thread in cinnamon oil before flossing with it, would the flossing experience have been enhanced.

The thread was a cotton-poly blend.

For more about flossing your teeth with sewing thread, read this post again.


At 5:11 PM, dennis

Well, I've sewed with dental floss, so why not?

At 12:06 AM, Julie

I figure I'll switch off between this and ADA-approved dental floss, just to hedge my bets.

At 10:38 AM, deez

When do you open Julie's School of Improvisational Dentistry?

From experience I can warn you that using peppermint schnapps as mouthwash must only be done in absolute secrecy, or else the girl you went to bed with the night before will catch you in mid-swish and storm out of your apartment muttering something along the lines of "you fucking alcoholic".

At 2:18 PM, Julie

Peppermint Schnapps...that's brilliant!I was thinking more along the lines of Internet Alternative Dentistry Consultant, maybe operating from international waters.


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