Tuesday, March 15, 2005


I was so enraged for much of Friday I could hardly breathe. This culminated in hysterics Friday night, which Scott was nice enough to be present for.

Saturday was wasted; the aftereffects of Friday included face swollen beyond recognition, and an absence of energy or will.

Sunday was dark and drizzly, which thwarted the long bike ride I had already dressed for. After pointlessly walking around the house wondering what I was going to do, I went for a ride anyway. I rode around for 90 minutes in the wet gray fluorescent sky: soaking in drizzle, face wet, hands chilled, exhilarated beyond description, superhuman.

Wondering if I should ditch the new pill I switched to and get an IUD.


At 11:00 AM, stef

Get the IUD ... it hurts a lot going in (i won't lie to you) and periods suck for the first couple of months but not having to remember to take the pill or having your hormones unnaturally fucked around with is GOLD. Also, you keep it in for five years, so it saves money too (versus the pill).

At 6:30 PM, Evan

Man, IUDs scare the heck out of me, and I don't even have the requisite parts to be worried about.

Actually, maybe that's a factor. If I had the endothelial equivalent of Old Faithful going off in my pants every 28 days, then after a while I'd probably be a bit more blasé about the sort of thing I was willing to stick up there.

At 12:06 PM, K

Evan, if you want to get technical, a penis is kind of a disturbing thing to stick up there. I mean, come on, it is someone else's pee-pee stick.

At 9:08 PM, Julie

As fascinating as the little fellows are, anything that involves sounding the cervix makes me double over and die in my head. I believe you, Stef, that it hurts. Heavy dope will be key.

Evan, less like Old Faithful...more lllike...

At 1:56 AM, K

Those things look like phytoplankton or those crazy organisms that live in water and are all crazy shaped and will probably rise up and kill their human overlords someday.

Diatoms? Is that it? GUH I could never be a doctor.

At 4:34 AM, Aristotle

Sticking a pee-pee stick in a pee-pee hole doesn‘t sound that far-fetched to me.

At 8:58 AM, K

If'n it was a pee-pee hole, that might be applicable.

Of course, Norm MacDonald would know more about pee-hole penetrations, so.

At 4:34 PM, Aristotle

Partially conceded; however the stick part and a lot of the other machinery of “pee-pee sticks” has nothing to do with the pee-pee part either.

I think the point that is trying to make itself here is that the putting together of the other machinery by two people is an activity that does not much resemeble anything else we normally do.

So I shall leave it there.

At 8:42 AM, stef

Oh man, one of those looks like the discarded shell of a horseshoe crab. But yeah, they just sort of pry you apart and ... I didn't get any anesthetic. I was merely told I would "feel some pressure." Ha!

At 8:10 PM, Julie

What they should tell you is, "You're going to feel a feeling that will end your innocence of pain that is wronger than the penultimate wrongest thing"

At 12:43 PM, Anonymous

We've all heard the story, but I witnessed it. My friend phoned me late one night in college and asked me to take her to the hospital because during sex time her IUD got stuck up inside her cervix (I believe). The doctor was way rough and she said it was more pain than she'd ever experienced. Another friend of mine got hers infected by pure happenstance and swore them off forever. Just rotten coincidences, maybe, but enough for me to never consider an IUD everrr...especially considering professionals aren't certain exactly how they work. "They just work." Psh.


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