Thursday, March 31, 2005

Murder in room-temperature blood

I killed our fridge. I stabbed it to death.

It Frosts Over Regularly
I was happily chiseling large chunks of winter wonderland out of our freezer with a hammer and a big knife the other day, when an incautious blow pierced the freezer wall, and the hissing started.

I panicked; I tried to plug the tiny hole with ice shavings to no avail. Then I tried superglue, which also failed. Shrieking, I ran in circles around the kitchen, patting my head in alarm and bouncing from foot to foot.

The hissing eventually stopped, replaced by a menacing silence.

Later, the internet confirmed that what escaped was the refrigerant gas that had, up until now, made our refrigerator cold.

To Add to My Disgrace
While chiseling, I had been playing out the scene which would occur when I showed Scott the clean, empty, un-ice-encrusted freezer and crowed at length regarding the ingenuity of my defrosting method over his (a blowdryer and patience.)

I know if this period in my life is replayed before my eyes when I die, it will be to the soundtrack of
2001: A Space Odyssey — the refrigerator-shaped monolith, the terrible burden of tools, the skull-smashing...and me throwing the knife up into the air and it becoming a space station.


At 12:52 PM, Jake

good thing there is ice in there to keep things cold until you can put the gas back innit. I bet duct tape - or melted Honey Grahm Oh's would've done the trick.

At 6:27 PM, Julie

How many times can you kick me while I'm down in one comment. I counted between three and four times.

At 5:28 PM, stef

The amusing thing is that my husband was doing this exact same thing in two different refrigerators on the exact same day. Was yesterday Chisel the Ice Out of the Freezer Day or what, I didn't see a new logo on Google to know.


Post a Comment

<< home again