Thursday, July 31, 2008

Dogs 389-393

So you couldn't get into the Walgreens this time, either. Why beat yourself up over it like that? It's just a drugstore, dude. Do you honestly wonder why none of your fun friends ever call you anymore?

I don't know what it says about this breed of dog that I always expect them to be able to talk. It's the only realistic way they're going to get across what it is they expect from the rest of us lesser beings.

When you're in the kind of situation where you need to make a decision and a devil and an angel appear on your shoulder representing Good and Evil, this happy camper should appear in between both of them representing Enthusiasm. You still won't make the right choice, but you'll make it with energy to spare.

Look, sometimes you just have to take a god damn nap and you don't give a shitting fuck where your body ends up, you have had a long fucking shit balls day and everything that's not a damn hell ass horizontal surface needs to watch. The fuck. Out.

Why is it that all the dwarves and wizards and magical dudes in the movies always seem to have British accents? Am I the only one who's noticed this? We're not going to get any straight answers out of this elder thaumaturgist, either.