Monday, April 25, 2005

Dogs 174-176

The tree and the telephone pole there make a set of goalposts to me, and in between them we have the world's most reluctant goaltender. If something were to make it past this guy, it wouldn't be because he didn't have the skill, that's for sure.

He's hunched over like that because he just saw somebody do something really painful to himself completely by accident. "Ooh, dayum. That'll leave a mark."

The most alert dog in the Mission has either just spotted Bigfoot walking out of a shop carrying his dry cleaning and a sixpack of hefeweizen, or the next-best thing. The tail tells me everything I need to know.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Dogs 170-173

I'm guessing that these two know each other. Furthermore, I'm guessing that the one in front is some kind of aged, wised-up kung fu master, and the slightly crazy dude in back is his maverick, won't-play-by-the-rules best student who will leave the temple too early and end up inadvertently betraying them all. This is just a guess of mine, though.

"Maybe this one coming up will take me home with her when she realizes this harness I've got on allows me to pull two hundred times my own weight. Hey! Hey lady! Hey!"

I think the term "puppy dog eyes" for that look we give someone when we really want something is misapplied. Because if we could really make a face like the one this guy's got going on, nobody would be able to deny anybody anything ever and we'd end up with a nonstop carnival of candy and blowjobs and new shoes and appletinis 24/7/365.

I know he's a dog, and I know he's probably at least part border collie, and I know that's just a muzzle, but doesn't this fella just look like a giant dumb happy badger to you? I know it's not just me, people.

On a side note, I want you guys to know I actually do read all the emails I get, and they're much appreciated. See you next time.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Dogs 165-169 (Also, Email)

Chocolate-brown dog tied up to a parking meter decorated for Easter. Let's contemplate this for a second, but only a second.

Is it just me, or does Mr. Brown-and-White there look a little deranged and scruffy? And maybe that's why the tan one is looking the other way? "Oh please let there be a psychotherapist headed this way, oh please oh please. What? No. No, I don't want to hear your Barenaked Ladies conspiracy theory again, and for the record, all those recipes of yours that involve 'smoke-cured seitan' are goddamned terrible."

I am well aware that this is not some sort of Catblog, but I would like to call your attention to the juxtaposition of Captain Don't-Give-a-Shit Cat there and the reflection of the dog in the window. I was even walking this dog and the coincidence seemed too perfect to believe, as though I had agents I was completely unaware of putting this cat into position and polishing the window 7.6 seconds before I walked past it.

Do you remember in Super Mario 3 how you could get a suit that would turn Mario into a statue if you pressed down + B? Who implanted 8-bit NES technology into this dude, and for what reason? For what reason?

Until somebody tells me where you go in order to get an awesome mellow dog who looks like he's made out of sewn-together alive mop heads, I'm just going to tell everyone I know that I met Chewbacca in the Castro the other day. They'll believe me when I flash this picture. They'll believe the hell out of me.


Recent events* have prompted me to get an email address; anyone who wants to say hi is encouraged to do so at dogblogsf(at)gmail(dot)com.

* Mostly the breaking of Haloscan; the comment links on a lot of my main blog are still displaying numbers that have next to nothing to do with reality ever since this happened.