Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Dogs 434-438

You make one crack about fava beans and a nice Chianti in the wrong company and look what it gets you. Next time how about keeping the movie quotes to yourself, Mister IMDB?

Are all border collies required to sign a contract guaranteeing that they remain at peak energy levels even when tied to a fucking lamppost? If you threw a ball for him to chase, that rope would snap so fast there'd be a burn mark on your face for a week.

I don't care if they didn't make it with the nonfat foam you like. Nobody cares. With the economy the way it is, you're lucky that coffee isn't 45% premium-roasted beetles.

You just know that getting to hug this guy is like 50cc's of sunlight jammed right into your aortic arch. An even 100 if his tail's wagging.

The main reason mankind domesticated dogs in the first place was to develop a machine powered by chuckles. It never got past the planning stages, but the chuckles themselves will sustain the species until the universe itself winds down.