I don't know why I'm only realizing it now, but I could probably stand being locked up to anything for a surprisingly long time as long as I had my best pal with me. Do you think these two have ever known even an instant of unhappiness? A thousand dollars says "fuck no, motherfucker."
Life Lesson #652: Don't piss on something if there's an outside chance you're going to be tied up next to it for a while.
"Look, the assignment was really quite simple. Three pages, double-spaced, ten-point font, and no tricks with the margins. Did you even do the reading? No. No, I'm afraid extra credit will be out of the question this time around."
If you approach life with the ingrained notion that you can eat anything you encounter if you think about it hard enough, shit suddenly gets a lot more interesting everywhere you look.