Sunday, November 23, 2008

Dogs 406-411

No snarky comment goes totally unheard. If you're going to say something unkind about another person's looks, you need to be prepared on a subconscious level for a throwdown, even if there's glass between the two of you and there's no way the sound would carry. This is what is known as basic karmic law.

Why did the ancient Egyptians have to build the Sphinx to look like a dull first-grader's idea of a cat-manimal? Did they just not have dogs? I know they had that one god with the head of a jackal, but come on now.

I could be wrong about this, because I took the picture a while ago and didn't get it from any other angles, but I'm nearly positive this guy wasn't actually leashed to anything. He just knew what the fuck to do in this situation. Think about this for a second and realize how few people you know that you can say that about.

What would the world be like if we could just stretch out on any patch of sidewalk we wanted to with our heads on our arms like it weren't no thang? Would the global temperature go down by a degree or two as the entire world's population chilled out just a little? Who can we write to in order to get that going.

You could take a paranoid insomniac, feed him eighteen shots of espresso, stuff a rail of coke up his nose, and plunk him down in the middle of Times Square at noon on a Saturday, and you still won't approach the level of alertness we have here. This guy's naps probably stand guard over Fort Knox.

I have had it with people keeping this shit a secret. Where do you go in order to get a dog exactly like this, and why is everybody not automatically issued one when they turn ten years old. Dogs live for more or less a decade + change on average, right? That guarantees you the absolute best buddy possible right up until you discover drinking.