SERIOUSLY NOW

Twitter: somebody had better be working on a feature that lets me see which followers I have in common with a given user. Is it really hard to implement or something? I need this in order to see whether I should be following someone back or not. It's crucial data.

I know there are third-party sites that do this, but the last time I checked out such a place, it didn't really work. Also, I feel like every other third-party Twitter app thing out there wants my login, to which I say fuck you.

I realize the Twitter people are probably busy just trying to add new servers and keep it from falling over, but if they've got a spare moment, this is what's on my wish list. Pay attention to my needs! Mine!

YOU HAVE ABOUT A MONTH

There'll be a real version of the show flyer soon enough, but in the meantime, you have roughly a month to prepare:



If you're one of the unfortunate few who don't know what we sound like, here is our MySpace, but you could kind of summarize it as "The Arcade Fire burned their guitars and picked up classical string instruments" without being off-base.

VITAL PRODUCT UPDATE

I can verify for anyone who's curious that those Hanes boxer briefs that promise "no ride up" are actually not fucking around. They're not 100% resistant to the phenomenon, but they're the least annoying boxer briefs I think I've ever put on, and that, friends and neighbors, is an accomplishment. This is how we know we're living in the god damned future.

There was also a Dogblog update this evening, so you've got that going for you, too.

THINGS I'M SURE OF AFTER THIS WEEKEND

Spent the weekend in Vegas celebrating my friend Alex's birthday with many of the best people on this coast, including his radwife Laurenn, and several things were learned, mostly related to the game of UTCFB we played -- one of the most intense ever. I learned that

- My pal Andy is an unexpected leader of men
- The capacity of friends Han and Lou to take physical punishment is astonishing
- The capacity of Alex and his father to hand out said punishment was previously known, but remains awe-inspiring
- There is nothing to be said about Man-Mountain Chris The Merciless, Destroyer Of Worlds, that cannot be gleaned from this new name for him that I just made up
- Seven people working together can properly hang a string of light bulbs in a backyard
- I am still allergic to cats
- Rum is delicious

It was a great time and I'm immensely pleased to know all of the people I do in this life. I wish that this feeling of contentment could somehow translate into quicker healing for every single one of my muscles, because right now I move like a 90-yr-old man who did not treat his body with care.

DAILY SHOW JUSTICE FIST

How fucking glad am I to be on the same planet as Jon Stewart, honestly? Holy fuck. If you've got a spare 20ish minutes, you have to watch these videos. The thing that they make clear is that really, we need to see basically everyone who's either on or responsible for CNBC brought out in public and spanked until they have to go to the god damn hospital.

NOT QUITE THE DESIRED EFFECT

Is anybody else seeing posters for some movie called The Haunting in Connecticutt (or is it A Haunting?) that shows a kid barfing up something that looks like a couple of angry paper bags? At least, that's what it looks like to me. Are those supposed to be ghosts, or some sort of spooky ectoplasmic haunting effect? I keep seeing these posters and just staring at them, trying to figure out if I'm just perceiving the image incorrectly or what. I'll tell you one thing: it doesn't make me want to see the movie.

TENDONITIS PRESENTS: CHOICES, WITH JON

Dilemma is as follows:

- I had a bad case of tendonitis break out in my right foot Thursday and on into Friday
-- It was hard to walk or stand for any appreciable amount of time
- I saw a doctor and it's feeling better today

Now then:

- Thursday I have two tickets to see Cut Copy
- This weekend I'm headed to Vegas to celebrate my friend Alex's birthday with some of my favorite people and play some UTCFB (the first match of the year, in fact)

I fear that if I go see Cut Copy, the tendonitis may flare up again. Doc said not to move around on it too much for about a week.

- I don't want to miss Cut Copy
- I don't want to potentially be on the sidelines during UTCFB either

What to do. Tell me, internet.

NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE QUESTION

Is it actually possible to get fat if you only eat fruits and vegetables? Like genuinely tubby? I'm trying to imagine the amount of fresh fruit and salads you'd have to eat in order to turn into a total lardass, and I can't do it.

But then again, cows are fucking enormous, and all they eat is grass.

But cows are meat, not fat. It's not like I go to a steakhouse to eat gristle.

For the curious: no, I'm not contemplating some sort of raw veg diet or something; I had just finishing eating a banana, and the question popped unbidden into my mind.

My mind kept going around and around on this, so I figured I'd put it here. Now you can all see what kind of incredibly stupid things my brain generates during a given day. Please imagine a tiny model choo-choo train with a carrot and a question mark painted on its side, chugging around a track that lines the interior of my skull, and you'll have some idea of what my mental landscape is like from time to time.