Monday, January 31, 2005

Dogs 1 - 10

This was the first one, I think. He just looks so sleepy. I bet his owner found him five minutes later with his head between his paws, dead to the world.

Looks like one of them demon dogs. One of them three-legged fag demon dogs! The leg fell off because he licks himself at night! Fred Phelps told me so!

OK, I know the leg's only folded under the rest of his body. What can I say, I like making jokes about dog masturbation. Don't you?

I think the white one is checking the guy to see if he can reach his wallet.

"OK, Fluffers, you start barking at him, and when he turns his head, I'll piss on his shoe while Mr. Bogie-Bogie takes his cash. This time tomorrow, we'll be on the beach in Rio de fucking Janeiro!"

And now he's looking at me like I'm the next target. Kind of looks like his pal behind him is checking out his butt, though.

Incidentally, I love that haircut they give to Airedales on their legs where it looks like they don't have any paws, just a long furry stump.

This happenin' fella was waiting for somebody very patiently right outside the exit door to the Cala (an overpriced grocery chain). Whenever someone would walk out, he just sat there, not taking the opportunity to run in. I admired that.

This guy had really mournful eyes. He was tied to a pole in the upper Haight; I theorize that this had something to do with it.

"If I have to see another white kid in a Slipknot t-shirt with ratty-ass dreads and bad piercings in his chin go by again, I'm going to rip this pole out of the concrete with my teeth and take out a city bus."

I love how this one's not tied to anything at all, but clearly has nowhere better to go. It's this kind of loyalty that makes me love dogs.

The view from inside the store.

"Come out already. I can hear squirrels. Squirrels, I tell you."

Fire hydrant doing double duty as dog-parking stanchion and scooter storage. I wonder, though, if the kid who left the scooter is also in charge of the dog, and was using the dog to provide motive power. Maybe that's why the dog's like, "Is he gone?"

This dog, of course, has the opposite problem.

"Where my ride at?"

This poor guy not only has a bandanna tied around his neck, but he's hooked to a Wall Street Journal stand. Is his name Jake? Is his owner driving her kid Tyler to soccer practice? Buying a venti soy latte? You decide.

This one has a peculiarly guilty look on his face. Like he's the one who put the sign on the parking meter. (I don't even know what it says.)