Monday, September 05, 2005

Dogs 215-222

We've all had that feeling, haven't we, when we're the first ones to a party and we wonder briefly if anyone else was even told?

Oh. Man. Just look, will you? Look at the most huggable dude you have ever seen in your whole damn life. You know he does that move where when he wags his tail, his entire back half shakes.

Be thankful dogs can't actually sing the blues, because you know if you heard one do it you wouldn't be able to decide between killing yourself or everyone else in the entire world.

"Listen, man, we don't need anything, all right? We don't need those losers out there, with their broken hopes and failed dreams! We don't need anything besides this bench, this mat, and each other. We'll start our new life right here and damn the consequences! You got that! Do you hear me?!"

(cue strings, orchestra comes in with a sweeping chord)

Da da da da, two dogs, da da da da,
Da da out on their own, da de dadada,
Lookin' out for each other da da hmm yeah
Two dogs ...

Right? Of course.

There isn't a single thing about the current situation that this guy isn't (a) acutely aware of and (b) happy about, is there?

I don't know why I have the urge to slap an apron and one of those old-timey train engineer hats on this captain of industry right here, but it just feels like the right thing to do. In my heart. What does yours say?

In the lengthening shadows
The dog looks and sees
Only the passage of time
Like the days of his life
Or something

You know what I'm not good at? Poetry.

Is it possible for a dog's look to be "dangerously smarmy"? I don't mean "dangerous" as in "bite your face off," but maybe more like "charged a bunch of nonreturnable crap to your credit card." This is just a hypothetical question.

I swear to you cartoons can't come to life, but if they could, they would have to wait in line to audition behind this chief. I just love the way he sits; you can almost hear the waiting-room music.